Sunday, July 25, 2010


This was supposed to look a lot more... this was supposed to look a lot less sexual...

Monday, July 19, 2010

Thursday, July 8, 2010

A True Story

Yesterday I heard a story about a boy with a congenital heart defect. He was born with this perversion of health and his peers nicknamed him "Heart Attack Matt." When he was nine years old, he recieved a heart transplant. His new heart came from a nine year old girl who died in a car crash. From then on, he was made fun of constantly. Whenever he couldn't do something or just didn't want to do what the other boys were doing they would call him "girl heart," or say "it's probably cuz of that girl heart."

He died recently. His final wish was to be cremated and have his ashes packed into bullets. His friends shot off those bullets on the fourth of July.

From now on, whenever im going to make fun of someone, I'm going to call them girl heart. Even if they don't know what im talking about... and even if they are a girl.

its that funny.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Day One: Recovery

Excessive drinking... It got the laughs and I paid the price. It was a good price though, a deal some would say. I even had enough money left over to buy a burrito.

All this fell on the coattails of failure; a job interview in a skyscraper gone horribly wrong. A silver fox asked me questions and i responded with confident blank stares. He probed further and i flashed a fantastic smile, akin to the anterior of those hokey "we're an old west town," buildings. However, failure and all its twisted logic quickly led me to celebration, and that ever reliable "fuck it" attitude. Thus we drank. Heavily.

The moments dance like ghosts across the back of my mind. These ghosts like to inflate my ego without concealing any details. I prefer this arrangement. I was never one for the details anyway. Give me the big picture! Am I in it? Even better! Now lets sell it, and start another one. What do you mean no one wants to buy it? Well, lets just leave it in the park and hope no one gets hurt.

When all was said and done... I had my first blog.